Double Dragon
by Sharingan-kun
Summary: When the two newbies of Fairy Tail decide to team up for their missions, things... don't go so well.
1. Just Hangin'

**A/N: **Got bored and wrote this. A potential LucyxNaruto story idea that I may or may not continue.

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><p><strong>Prologue: Just Hangin'<strong>

It was here, at possibly the hottest, most volatile region of Fiore, that a member Fairy Tail's most notorious mage duo decided to hold an impromptu team meeting, much to her partner's dismay.

"Naruto... there's a few things I'd like for you to explain to me..." Lucy began with a tone that was earnest if not slightly accusing.

Naruto grimaced and looked over to see an endearing smile, clearly fake, spreading across the blonde girl's face. "Err... Lucy, now's probably not the best time for a chat."

Her smile widened. "Please?" Judging from how she said that single word, this was no request. "It's not like there's anything else we can do at the moment."

Naruto knew that look all too well on Lucy. He saw through the false smile on her face as soon as he saw it; knew that whatever lurking underneath that smile would surely be the end of him if he refused her. Oh why did he have to know her so well? Life seemed so much simpler when he was clueless about the blond bombshell he had taken in as a partner. "Okay fine, shoot. What did you need to know?"

Lucy drew in a quick breath, giving Naruto the the split-second he needed to brace himself. "First of all," Lucy said with that sickeningly-sweet voice of hers. "Remind me. What was our mission again?"

Naruto suddenly found himself gulping down a brick of anxiety. "G-grocery shopping."

"Mhhmm. Right. _Grocery_ shopping," Lucy confirmed. "For Mirajane. A D-rank mission. Simple. Easy. Practically a free three-thousand Jewels for fifteen minutes of work."

"It was E-rank, actually," quipped Naruto. Lucy ignored it.

"Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but our grocery list had but three items on it. A carton of eggs. A sack of flour. And... um... what was it again?"

"A bottle of milk."

"Right," Lucy confirmed again. "A bottle of milk."

Naruto began to feel himself sweating now, and it wasn't only because of the intense heat. "L-Lucy, I can explain..."

"Now, all of these things we can find at the local market in Magnolia Town..."

"...it's just..."

"The local market is only a few blocks away from the guild..."

"...breathe, Lucy. In... out... in..."

"So tell me, Naruto..."

"...It's not my fault! These things happen when you go to the market. Seriously, it should have been C-rank or something..."

"WHY THE HELL ARE WE TIED UP AND SUSPENDED OVER AN ACTIVE _VOLCANO_ WHILE A _DRAGON - _YES, REAL LIVE STRAIGHT-OUT-OF-STORYBOOK _DRAGON_ - PONDERS ABOUT HOW WELL DONE IT WANTS TO COOK US?"

Naruto thought about it for a second. It was a valid argument and frankly he didn't really have a reasonable explanation. It just happened. Just like how last time, when their mission was to find a missing cat, the two of them had somehow mistakenly created their very own dark guild that was responsible for the destruction of several other perfectly legal guilds. Oh, and they blew up the council's tower in the process. The dark guild, Ramen Heart, and it's mysterious two members, to this day, are at the top of the National Magic Council's most wanted list. Good thing they were both wearing masks at the time of that incident. As for the cat, it was probably still out there somewhere.

But back to the current predicament. Bound in rope from neck to toe, both Naruto and Lucy were hung from a rock above a clearly active volano. Molten rock bubbled and boiled only several feet below their toes. They were each also spinning slightly, which Naruto was glad for, if only so he didn't have to see Lucy's angry glare at him the entire time they dangled.

"Hey, you were the one that took forever getting out of the bathroom. If you just-"

"I was in there for TWO minutes!" Lucy snapped back. "TWO! MINUTES!"

"...seemed longer than that to me..."

Something inside Lucy broke and she began sobbing. "Oh god, we're going to die, aren't we?"

"We're not going to die, Lucy," Naruto comforted. "We can get out of this. Let's just think things through." Somehow, Naruto didn't seem entirely convinced of this himself.

"Why? WHY! I didn't even get a chance to tell Natsu how I feel about him."

Naruto lifted an eyebrow. "You... and Natsu? Really?"

"Why are you looking at me like that? I've _always_ wanted to tell him how much of an idiot he was for burning down my apartment."

"Oh... that..."

"My furniture. My clothes. All those books I wrote. All gone because of that pink-haired pyro."

Naruto hesistated but he figured now would be a good a time as any to come clean. "About that... it was actually my fault."

"I want to strangle him so badly - _wait..." _Lucy expression turned maniacal. "WHAT!"

"I had a new mission for us so I went to find you but you weren't home. So I decided to wait there and practice some of the new wind-make magic I learned. For some reason it came out as fire and I tried to-"

"I'M GOING TO _KILL_ YOU!"

Naruto sighed. "Lucy, it was an accident."

"_KILL_YOUSTUPIDDRAGONLEMMEOUT RIGHT _NOW __!_"

As if on cue, a shape rose from beneath the molten lava. Great clawed wings reached upwards and beat down, revealing a dark horned beast covered in scales as black as darkness itself.

"You called, human?" It roared.

Lucy screamed hysterically in response.

It was a dragon. _The_ dragon that had captured them both. And if Naruto remembered correctly, it had a name too. 'What was it again? Oh right, Acnologia.' Now if only he could remember how he got into this mess in the first place.


	2. Kitty Cat Cosplay

**A/N:** Honestly, I didn't think I'd get any response from such a ridiculous prologue. So I wrote a little more, just for you guys.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Kitty Cat Cosplay<strong>

One Day Ago

"Whoa guys, check this out!"

"What the hell do you want this time? Unless it's another decent job, I don't want to hear it."

"C'mon man, this is important. It's made the front page of the Magnolia Herald. You've got to read this."

Naruto gulped down another spoonful of ramen as he idly listened to the conversation happening next to him at the bar.

The spacious guild hall of Fairy Tail was loud and rambunctious as usual. And even after a month of being there, Naruto still wasn't used to all the inane shouting, sporadic fist-fights, and magic flying about. He didn't even know if he could _ever_ get used to it. It was just so different from his own home.

He didn't even know how he got to Fiore in the first place. He just woke up one day and found himself in an unfamiliar land full of unfamiliar faces. But his luck wasn't all bad. When he stumbled into Fairy Tail, one of the members, Mirajane, was kind enough to take him in and answer many of the questions he had.

Now, his ultimate goal was to find a way back to his own world. Unfortunately, he was no closer to getting back now than he was a month ago. But he knew that his best chance lay with a certain mage within the guild. A celestial spirit summoner by the name of Lucy. Her power involved summoning creatures to and from another realm. It was a long shot but Naruto figured that if she was able to do that, there might be a way she could 'reverse summon' him back to Fire Country. The idea was speculative at best but it was all he had at the moment.

So he joined the guild and befriended the bright and bubbly blonde. He even went so far as to complete as many missions with her as a partner as possible. And eventually, they formed an official team:

"...Ramen Heart."

Naruto nearly choked on his ramen. Coughing and sputtering, he beat on his chest until he regained his breath.

"Dude, Naruto, you okay?"

"Our team is Shuriken Cake!" Naruto insisted violently, gripping his fellow guildy's collar. "I don't know _anything_ about Ramen Heart!"

The entire guild came to a complete silence and they all stared at him.

"Um, okay?" The Fairy Tail guild member who Naruto-didn't-really-know-the-name-of-yet, pointed down at the newspaper in front of him. "You should probably read that."

He did. 'New Dark Guild, Ramen Heart, Terrorizing Fiore,' read the headline.

Naruto dropped the random guildy, picked up the paper, and remembered. He remembered it like it was yesterday. Because that was exactly when it happened.

**- Flashback -**

The mission? Retrieving a lost cat. The reward? Three hundred-thousand Jewels. The number of failed attempts thus far? Two.

"Lucy, I think this might be the dumbest idea you've ever had..."

Currently, both Naruto and Lucy were garbed in tight-fitting, black, one-piece jumpsuits. Their faces were hidden behind black masks that stretched over their eyes, their hands were covered in matching black, fuzzy gloves, and they even wore black headbands adorned with fluffy looking kitty ears.

They were each also supposed to wear a black feline tail but the ones Lucy brought involved some invasive placement. That was where Naruto drew the line. No way was he going to stick anything up _there._

"Speaking of dumb ideas, have any of _yours_ worked so far?" chided Lucy.

Naruto frowned. "No," he admitted.

"Thought so," said Lucy. "So now we do it my way."

"But dressing up as a cat? Really? Couldn't you come up with anything a little less embarassing?"

"Let's see... chasing it didn't work. Trapping it didn't work either. And _no_, we are _not_ going to kill it and replace it with another one. For one, cats are expensive and two, if the owner notices the difference, we won't get paid."

"Tch, just throwing out ideas."

"So that's why we're going to be a little more subtle this time around and entice it to come to _us._"

"By dressing up as cats and meowing at it? Yeah, this is never going to work."

Lucy suddenly grabbed Naruto by the shoulders and turned him to face her, revealing the desperation drawn all over her face. "It's going to work, Naruto, you _must_ believe! Nyan?"

Lucy's broken smile, her teary eyes, the drooping cat ears on her head... they all painted a strangely adorable picture that tugged on Naruto's heartstrings. His face heated up and he might have even blushed but he would never know for sure.

"Nyan," sighed Naruto. He couldn't say no to a Lucy who was at her final desperate attempt to complete this stupid mission. A mission that could pay her rent for a whole three months, even with the money divided between them.

Lucy cheered up immediately. "Great! Let's get started." She pointed at the tall building in front of them. "The cat is still in there. So as soon as we get inside we'll..."

"Wait a minute," interrupted Naruto. The sign on the building read 'National Magic Council'. "We can't just walk in there, can we?"

"Sure we can," reasoned Lucy. "If anyone asks just tell them that we're on official mage business."

"Lucy, you know that's not going to work. We need to come up with-"

There it was again. Lucy pulled out the pouty face with eyes like dams ready to overflow with tears. She even held her hand up curled into a makeshift kitty paw.

"That's not gonna work twice..." trailed off Naruto.

That was what he said but when Lucy suddenly got on all fours which coincidentally pushed her breasts together... The allure was just too much for him to handle. Was it the kitty costume? Was that what made him so weak to her right now? He had no idea. What was funny was that he always thought Lucy was more of a dog person. She sometimes followed him around. She was fiercely loyal to her friends. And she barks about the most inane things sometimes. Yup, definitely a dog person. But now, in her kitty cat cosplay, Naruto was having second thoughts. "Nyan?" she asked, just like last time.

And, once again, Naruto's inevitable reluctant "Nyan," was the answer.

"Hehe, you're too easy, Naruto," said Lucy. "And don't worry, the plan is flawless. Believe it."

- x -

Ten Minutes Later

"'Flawless', you said," began Naruto. "'Believe it,' you said." Naruto let the words sink in for a bit. "Isn't that usually my line? Why did I ever believe you again?"

Lucy pouted. "Nyan?"

They managed to find the cat. The small devious fuzzball was with them, right now, in a strange looking room. A strange looking room that they were definitely _not_ supposed to be in. This was evidenced by the loud wailing lacryma sirens all around them. And also by the angry sounding Rune Knights who were currently trying to bash the door in.

"This is all _your_ fault!" yelled Naruto as he simultaneously pointed at the cat. It hissed at him in response.

"Shh, don't make it angry!" said Lucy. Then she turned back to the cat and slowly approached it. "C'myon nyow. Dnyon't nyisen to nya nyangry myan."

The situation wouldn't have been bad at all if it weren't for the scary looking words flashing across a spherical lacryma-vision screen that stood at the center of the room.

Orbital Hercules Cannons activated.

Seven target coordinates confirmed.

Ready to fire.

Naruto noted that the Magic Council building, itself, was one of the targets. And, of course, cowering on top of what looked like the control console was their feline nemesis, Mr. Smoochy.

"Careful Lucy," warned Naruto. "No sudden moves."

"Shut it! I know!" Lucy rasped before turning back to Mr. Smoochy, inching ever closer to it. "Nyat's it. Stay nyight nyair"

Naruto watched carefully, sweating as Lucy hands made it to but a mere hairsbreadth away from the cat. All she needed to do now was to grab it and gently lift it off the console. If nothing no other buttons were pressed, the cannons wouldn't fire and the two of them would have a chance of explaining themselves and getting out of there without too much consequence.

But it was not to be. Right at that instant, the Rune Knights outside managed to break the the door down. The cat, screeching, leapt onto Lucy's face, blinding her and causing her to fall forward.

With a horrified expression on his face, Naruto could do nothing but watch as Lucy fell forward. He half wished that he was the control console itself as Lucy's soft and succulent chest smushed into it. But then woke up from this reverie as the automated voice message from the lacryma-vision began to count down.

"Hercules Cannons firing in five..." it began.

Remembering that the tower was one of the targets, Naruto acted fast and on instinct. He darted forward and grabbed Lucy by her waist.

"Naruto wha-?"

"Four..."

With the rune knights blocking the only entrance, the only way out was through an open window. So Naruto, with Lucy hugged tightly around his chest, ran towards it with all his might.

"-no don't-"

"Three..."

He could hear some of the Rune Knights behind him shouting at him to stop. He could hear them cast their spells. More than that, he could feel sensations of pain from some the spells that managed to actually hit him in the back. But, still, he kept going and jumped full-speed towards the window.

"Narutowe'reeightyfeetabovethe-Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."

Naruto concentrated. Time slowed. A familiar voice made itself known.

**'Have you gone mad, kit?'**

'Kurama! Good timing. No time to argue. Lend me your power!'

**'You fool! In case you've forgotten, neither of us can channel our chakra in this world. What are you thinking?'**

"...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"Two..."

'I'm not! Just do it!'

**'Foolish kit! Very well. But should we die I shall be the first to devour your soul in hell.'**

'I'll keep that in mind.'

Naruto felt the demonic chakra of the nine-tails spread within him. His body, with Lucy gripped tightly in front of him, had managed to the clear the window of the tower but the ground was still a good eighty feet below. He wasn't sure if Lucy had stopped screaming, passed out, or simply just ran out of breath, but thankfully for his ears she remained silent.

"One..."

They were falling fast and Naruto's chakra simply refused to take shape around him. So he did the only thing he could think of. He released the chakra, both his own and the nine-tails', below him. It slowed their fall only a fraction. So he began to expel more. Copious amounts of chakra. As much chakra as he could. His vision became fogged with shades of blue, red, and purple, but still he kept falling at a tremendous pace.

"Zero..."

In a final last-ditch effort, Naruto managed enough control to release the majority of the chakra he had left in a final blast underneath him just before he hit the ground.

It helped, barely.

He hugged Lucy in tight as his back crashed painfully into the cobblestones of the ground. Whatever wind was left in his lungs was forced out of him and a dizzying array of strange shapes and colors clouded his eyes.

Then it came.

From the sky arrived a pillar of intense light that crashed into the building from which they had just escaped. Naruto could hear the screams and shouts of the Rune Knights within as the Magic Council building exploded outwards in a brilliant and terrible display of magic power.

Naruto stayed low until he was certain the rubble had settled.

He could hear Lucy coughing and sputtering, a good sign.

"Lucy, you okay?"

"Ow... my boobs," she tiredly complained with her eyes still shut.

Naruto couldn't fight back the blush this time and hurriedly pushed her off of him before she could realize their position. If she found out, he would experience greater pain than even an the eighty foot drop from the Council's tower. In any case, he laid her gently on the ground so she could recover.

Then, he doggedly stood up and surveyed the destruction.

The entire building had been leveled. Only ruin and rubble remained. Bodies of Rune Knights and the employees that worked at the building were scattered about. But, they all still looked to be breathing. The council probably had defenses up for this sort of attack so the damage to the personnel wasn't as bad as it could have been.

Turning his attention back to Lucy, he moved to help her up out of the small landing crater that they had created, doing his best to ignore how she indelicately rubbed certain parts of her body.

The chakra that was used for his hasty landing had all but disappeared entirely. Naruto laughed to himself. To think that the entire might of the great nine-tails, once able to level entire mountains with a single swipe, was now reduced to barely being able to break a fall of a mere eighty feet. What was it about this world that made chakra so useless? It was another thing Naruto wanted to find out.

"What's so funny?" asked Lucy.

"Nothing," said Naruto as he recovered. "We should get out of here."

"Eh? But what about the cat?"

Naruto gestured to all the surrounding destruction. "Do you really want to stick around for the aftermath of _this?_"

Lucy looked left. Lucy looked right. Then she shook her head clear. "You're right, let's get out of here."

With a little help from Naruto, she got up and they both began limping away until a haggled voice called out from behind them.

"Wait!" sputtered the Rune Knight. "S-stop."

Naruto turned around to deal with the knight but unexpectedly, Lucy was ahead of him. "Lucy?" Naruto gripped her arm to try and stop her. "Lucy, wait. Let me do it-"

But wordlessly she shook herself free.

The Knight continued his rant. "Y-you monsters... H-how? W-why? W-who are you people?" By the time he finished, Lucy was already standing directly in front of him.

She held a glare as cold as ice, visible even through her mask. "Silly Rune Knight," she said without a hint of hesitation. "That's right. We _are_ monsters. So fear us. _Loathe us._ And... when you _finally_ wake up, remember the ones who did this to you. We are... _Ramen... Heart_." The last two words were whispered directly into his ears before, deftly, Lucy landed a swift blow into his gut. The eyes of the Rune Knight rolled up into their sockets and he collapsed back onto the ground, unconscious. "Sorry..." finished Lucy.

Naruto was completely shocked and it wasn't because of the random guild name she had given to the Rune Knight.

In fact, the name wasn't random it all. It was one of the names for their team that Naruto and Lucy had come up with together. How it worked was that both Naruto and Lucy would think of random words and put them together into a bowl. Then they would each pull out two words from the bowl to form a team name. They also had one veto each. The first name that came up was Ramen Heart. Lucy used her veto. Next was Love Shinobi. Naruto used his veto. Finally came Shuriken Cake and with no vetos left and a general apathy regarding the name, it stuck.

So really, the guild name was just consequential. But the things she said to the poor, defenseless Rune Knight? The icy coldness of her actions? They were definitely not Lucy-like at all.

Breathlessly, Lucy returned to Naruto's side. "So, we going?" she asked, her scary persona from earlier disappearing entirely, replaced with her usual bubbliness.

"Lucy, where the hell did _that_ come from?"

"Hmmh? I don't know about you but _I _don't want to spend the rest of my life in mage prison."

"So you tell him to fear us? To hate us? What the hell?"

"Not us... Ramen Heart. We needed a scapegoat," explained Lucy. "And 'Ramen Heart' did nicely. Besides, with this outfit on, it's not like they'll ever recognize us." Lucy stopped herself to frown at Naruto's baffled expression. "What?"

"Are you sure you're okay?" asked Naruto. "Did you hit your head when we fell, or something? Because that's not like you at all."

"Hmmph. Or maybe..." said Lucy as she turned around and walked off, "...you don't know me as well as you think, partner." And just like that, Naruto was left with a confused image of Lucy. At least he also go brilliant image of her amazing butt.

**- Flashback - END -**

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><p><strong>Edit:<strong> Fixed the 'pup' to 'kit' thing, thanks! Also fixed a few of the spelling/grammar mistakes I found after re-reading it. Let me know if you find more.


	3. Mira, Mira, at the Bar

**A/N: **I have no idea how I come up with some of these weird ideas. I'm half wondering if the story even makes sense right now. Oh well, I'm running with it.

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><p><strong>Interlude<strong>: **Shuriken Cake**

They had once been the biggest, baddest, fiercest, dark guild this side of Mt. Hakobe. Thirty men strong, all cast from the same mould. Stocky, muscular, bearded... they each wielded weapons and magics that were banned by the National Magic Council. Nearly every inch of their skin was covered in dark runes that empowered their corrupt magics. Just a mere mention of their guild, Laughing Devil Explosion, would have many of the weaker light guilds soiling their pants.

And yet here they are, defeated,covered in casts and bandages from head to toe as they lay in the beds provided to them by the medical center within a high-security prison for criminal mages.

Worse, they were defeated by a mere two... _two, _mages. And as if that humiliation wasn't enough. They were defeated by a team that called themselves Shuriken _Cake._ Cakes were soft. Cakes were fluffy. Cakes were _delicous._ But cakes _do not_ single handedly destroy dark guilds such as theirs.

"Mrghh... Mmghraaammmraaagraaahh!" shouted the leader of the dark guild. His words were indiscernable due to the cast over his face but his tone was clear. He wanted _revenge._ He would _destroy_ this weakling mage team as soon as he recovered and got out of this damned prison. They were just caught by surprise that last time. Such a thing would not happen again.

Just then, a nurse walked into the dark guild leader's room, a package in hand. "Is something the matter?" she asked politely.

"Mrgh..."

The nurse shrugged, having long given up on trying to decipher this particular patient's rants. She opened the window to his room as she usually did and stood by the side of his bed.

"Well in any case," said the Nurse, "A young man outside insisted that you get this package." She raised the small box in her hands closer to the guild leader so he could get a better look. "Our prison protocols usually don't allow this sort of thing but this package was approved by one of the higher ups so..."

"Mrghmrg mrgrt?"

"Umm... here, let me just open it for you." The nurse laid the package down onto a nearby table and began to peel it open. "Oh my! How cute!" she exclaimed shortly after.

"Mrghmrg mrgrt? Mrhg mgrh mgrhhh"

"Guess you can't eat it yet... but here, take a look." She lifted the contents of the package for the dark guild leader to see. Apparently, it was a small cake. And not just any cake, there was a small and sugary super-deformed cartoon image of himself decorated at it's center. Above this image of him, in bright red icing were the words: 'Be Good'. And below read the words: 'Or Else.'

The guild leader became furious.

"Be good or else," read the nurse aloud. "You know, it's good advice. Being bad definitely hasn't been paying off if you ended up here, now has it?"

He struggled and squirmed as much as he could, mumbling what would be profanities were it not blocked by the cast overtop of his mouth. Clearly, the ones who did this to him were trying to be poetic. Being defeated by a team called Shuriken Cake, then sending him an actual cake, was much like adding salt to a grievous wound.

"Stop moving around so much," scolded the nurse. "or your injuries will get worse." She laid the cake down on a cart beside the bed. "Now listen to the cake and be good. I'll be back to check up on you later." With that, the nurse left, leaving the dark guild leader alone with the cake that taunted him so.

He stared down at the sugary treat with a vengeance... and a watering mouth. 'Be good or else?' he thought. 'Or else what?'

Without any warning, he felt a puff of wind coming from the open window of the room. Half a second later, he watched as the cake beside his bed began to spray violently, splattering chunks of what looked like strawberry filling all over the room.

'An assassination?' he thought immediately. After a moment or two, he realized he was still very much breathing with no new pain other than his already broken bones and sore muscles.

Whipping his eyes over the window, he saw nothing. So cautiously, he looked back to the cake. It looked mostly fine still, except for one tiny detail. There was a shuriken embedded into it, cleanly separating the image of his cartoonish head from it's cartoonish body.

All his anger turned to fear and he suddenly began considering a new career option. Being a leader of a dark guild wasn't worth... _this._ Maybe he could take up farming? Who knows. Whatever it was, baking definitely wasn't an option. Because he didn't know if he would ever look at a cake the same way again.

**Interlude: Shuriken Cake - END -**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Mira, Mira, at the Bar...<strong>

Fairy Tail Guild Hall

It was a little less restless at the bar now that the majority of the guild moved their activities closer the mission board on the other side of the mess hall. It was almost time for the new mission postings and everyone was waiting eagerly for their new jobs. Everyone except Naruto, at least.

Naruto just continued to sit quietly at the bar, now sipping on a drink made of some fruit... or something or other... that he had never heard of before. He found he was actually enjoying the the warm and pleasant atmosphere of a Fairy Tail that was finally beginning to calm down a little.

"Naruto, welcome back!" came a bright voice.

Naruto looked up from his drink to see the seemingly always welcoming smile of Mirajane, the unofficial matriarch of the guild, directed towards him. She carried a bundle of papers hugged close to her chest and her long platinum hair shifted further down one of her shoulders as she tilted her head to the side in a questioning manner. "Ara, ara, something wrong?"

"Eh? Me? Nah," reassured Naruto, throwing on his trademark grin. "Maybe a little tired from our last mission but other than that, I'm great. Just waiting for the new ones to be posted up." Naruto gestured to the papers in Mira's arms.

"Hmmm..." Mira leaned in closer, staring directly at him with her penetrating deep blue eyes. Then she made a face and stuck her tongue out. "Liar."

Naruto froze with his drink halfway to his lips. "E-excuse me?"

"You're so transparent," shrugged Mira. "Don't worry, I won't pry. Your business is your own. But remember that I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to. I'm sure you must be going through a lot, especially being away from your home world for so long."

Naruto drew in a breath, and hesitated. "You seriously believed me about that?"

"Of course."

"Really? Nobody else believed me. Heck, I probably wouldn't have believed it myself if I were in your shoes."

Mira shrugged. "I could just... tell... that you weren't lying back then."

"Just tell? Mind if I ask how?" asked Naruto, curious.

Mira smiled, it was a slightly devious one that betrayed her otherwise angelic face. "There are some things a girl should keep to herself," she said matter-of-factly.

Naruto laughed and his expression turned thoughtful. "Fair enough..."

"Ah, by the way, how was the cake I baked for you last week?"

'Cake?' It took half a second for Naruto to remember about the cake that Mira had baked for him. It was the third one he had requested thus far, and once again he sent it to another of his victims, one of the leaders of the dark guild that he and Lucy annihilated on some mission last week... with a bit of a warning, of course. Employing fear was one of the techniques handed down to him from the Ninja Academy.

"Ah... umm... it was delicious!" lied Naruto.

Mira frowned and shook a finger at him. "If you don't eat the next one, I'm gong to stop making them for you," she scolded.

Naruto sighed. "Fine," he said. "But you'll have to make me two in that case."

"Two?" asked Mira. "What on Earth Land do you do with the cakes that you don't eat?"

Naruto took a page from Mira's book and grinned. "There are some things a guy should keep to himself," he teased.

"Ara, ara..." admitted Mira. She sighed. "Well, I'm sure you have your reason. Oh, but..." Mira put a finger to her chin. "I think I'm out of some of the ingredients."

Naruto shrugged. "I can grab them for you if you want."

"I have a better idea," she said happily. She laid the pile of new mission postings on the bar counter and turned around. Then, reaching... somewhere... she wiggled a bit, seemingly struggling with herself, before suddenly turning back around, producing a fresh piece of paper and a black marker.

Naruto scratched his head. "Uh... where did you...?"

Then, with a rapt expression of concentration (eyes narrowed furiously and tongue sticking out a bit) she began writing something down. A few moments later she presented her new work of art.

"Tada!" she exclaimed.

Naruto read it.

Rank E Mission  
>Grocery Shopping for Mira<br>- Eggs  
>- Flour<br>- Milk

Reward: 3,000 Jewels

Along with those words, were random drawings at each corner of the page. In one corner was an unmistakingly cute drawing of Mira winking and doing a 'V' sign. Another corner had fellow guild member, Mickey Chickentiger squatting down over a nest of eggs... somehow also cute. And one of the bottom corners had one of Lucy's trademark summons, Taurus, holding up a bottle of milk and saying 'Boobies!'. The final corner had a sack labeled 'flour' with a big question mark next the picture. She probably ran out of ideas.

"You didn't have to," said Naruto.

But Mira shook her head. "Work is work," she said. "And you'd be doing a big favor for me. I'd get the ingredients myself but it's been so busy at the guild lately that I haven't had the time."

"Well," hesitated Naruto. "If you insist."

"I insist," affirmed Mira. "And when you're done with that, I'll have another mission reserved for you and Lucy. How does that sound?"

"Great," smiled Naruto.

"Then it's settled. Now," she held a finger to her chin again. "Any mission you'd prefer?"

"What have you got?"

Mira shuffled through the new mission postings and began reciting some of the out. "Monsters terrorizing an island..."

"Pass."

"Excorcism..."

"Pass."

"Retrieving a lost cat-"

"Pass."

"It's paying a lot-"

"Double Pass!"

Mira shrugged and flipped to the next page. "Dark Guild: Oración-"

"I'll take it," interrupted Naruto.

"-Seis..." Mira frowned a bit at the rude interruption but otherwise ignored it. "Hmm, it says here that you'll be teaming up with members from three other guilds."

"Eh? Do we have to?"

Mira nodded. "And I think Master Makarov had already decided on a team for this. Being an S-class mission, one of our S-class mages would have to accompany you on the mission anyways. It will be _very_ dangerous. Still interested?"

Naruto shrugged. "Is the pay good?"

"Yes, but-"

"Then count me in."

Mira sighed. "Very well. I'll see what I can do to convince the Master." Then she paused for a bit, and looked around. "By the way, where _is _Lucy? Shouldn't she be here with you?"

"She's probably still sulking because we bombed our last mission," admitted Naruto.

"Is she okay?" worried Mira.

"She'll be fine," Naruto assured. "Probably just worried if she'll make rent this month. These new missions should cheer her up. The shopping one is practically free Jewels. And we've always done well on the dark guild hunting missions."

"Is that so... Well then, you'd better get going. I'm sure the Master himself will want to brief the both of you on Oración Seis when you get back."

Naruto nodded, finished his drink, gave one last thanks to Mira, then left the guild hall to hunt down Lucy.


End file.
